Cattails, a game I kept seeing advertised on my Facebook every day for a month or so, looked interesting enough to me. Apparently, not interesting enough to buy, but enough to keep it in my mind. I saw it get a release on the Nintendo Switch and thought about it a little more. Eventually, I opened up Steam yesterday and decided that, yes, now was the time to buy a game about pretending to be a cat.

I envisioned myself playing out my childhood dreams of waking up one day and finding myself in the world of the Warriors series– a cat living among a horde of other cats, protecting each other and hunting mice or whatever– and promptly felt my self-esteem drop a few points lower.

Regardless, I started the game up and got to naming my cat. I was a bluish colored cat with blue eyes named Serif. There weren’t too many customization options, which I was somewhat disappointed by. I’d at least hoped to be able to pick different coat patterns. Once I’d finished up, I was greeted by a very depressing set of events.

It appeared I had been adopted by a mother and her little girl, then promptly abandoned on the side of the road. My sad existence had begun.

A cat name Coco found me and helped me out, guiding me through this game’s tutorial. I was abysmally bad at hunting. The experience was reminiscent of fishing in Stardew Valley. The learning curve is steep, but I’m hoping I can make up for it with persistence.

Eventually, Coco asks me where I want to go. Here was my Sorting Hat moment: go with the Forest Colony, the Mystic Colony, or the Mountain Colony. I was expecting four colonies like in Warriors, but I suspect there’s something about that I have yet to learn.

Coco then disappears in a burst of light, and I realize that I may have not look this game up very well.

Apparently, my colony of choice (Mystic) hosts a cat with horns and red eyes, an aqua-colored leader with two different-colored eyes, a cat with a plague mask, a herb enthusiast cat, an oracle, a shopkeeper, and what seems to be an elderly cat? It seems none of them have genders, so I guess they’re assigned whatever seems appropriate to the player.

Regardless, I’ve certainly gotten off to a start in this game. I’m hoping I get better at hunting or my poor cat is gonna starve.